found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
