Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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