Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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