I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
