she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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