The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
