How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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