Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
