I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
