we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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