don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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