your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
