Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
