Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
