is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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