So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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