If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
