kristin has been a bad kristin
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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