Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
