so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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