my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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