Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
