You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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