A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I am mentally ready for anal.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
