What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
