I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Sober January is a disaster.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
