Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
