It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
