He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
