if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
