I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
