If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
