Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
