i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
