you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
