you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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