So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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