check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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