If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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