saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And then my night got REAL pukey
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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