oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
