i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
