why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
