a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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