Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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