Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize