Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize