Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This baby is an asshole
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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