mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
