Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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