I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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