He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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