I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
