Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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