I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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