Your face is a jimmy john
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
