I think i sorta joined a cult last night
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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