I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize