Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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