how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
