Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
