I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
