I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
