So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
