Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize